That's why you're Beautiful
by McSexiefan
Summary: My version of what happened after 5x10.it's a Mark and Lexie story in which Mark will struggle with himself and find happiness in the most unexpected places. You'll get to see Mark and Lexie relationship in progress . just give it a try please
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

Mark was wide awake while Lexie was still sleeping in his arms. Well he can understand that, he had pretty much worn her out. Just that thought brings a smirk on Mark's lips. Mark looks at her, she was lying her head on his chest and her legs were tangled up with his. Her hair were all spread on his chest and the sun coming from his window a new light on her skin. Damn she's even more beautiful when she's asleep. Mark thought. Mark's mind went on last night event  
Mark was proud of himself. He brought a woman's voice back, and that was something Mark was working out, jumping shirtless some ropes when he heard someone knocking at his door. He put quickly a shirt on and went to open the door. Well he didn't expect to find Lexie Grey at his door. Her hair down, she looks so gorgeous. Mark was speechless to say the least.  
"You made her speak, Mrs Patterson she said Hi you made her speak" Lexie said while walking in.  
Mark didn't quite understand what was going on right there, what the hell is she doing here?? And how the hell did she get past me?? That girl has some guts.  
"I respect you as a man, as a surgeon , as a teacher I respect you'' Lexie replied.  
Those words striked Mark not only in his mind but in his stomach. This is the first time that someone said that to him. well he always knew that in the medicine community he was highly respected and that he was the best damn plastic surgeon in the country. But when the woman you've longing for, for weeks now says that she respect you not only as a surgeon but as a man, that's something  
Mark was still quiet as he turned around to look at Lexie. When he saw that she dropped her jacket off he looked at the hallway first and closed the door.  
" So teach me"  
"what are you doing, we can't do this. stop I'm your teacher" mark pleaded  
"so teach me" as she was saying this she took off her purple sweater and pink tank top  
Mark couldn't take it anymore and started looking at the floor because he didn't want to give in and break Derek 's promise.  
"So teach me" and there Lexie has only her bred bra on an pants.  
and she asked "come on am I really so bad" showing more of her vulnerable side.  
And right there Mark looked at her straight in her eyes and thought how on earth she could think that of herself she's nothing but perfect.  
" No I am" with his husky voice he replied. Even though his mind was telling him to not do what he was intended to do, he didn't listen to it and went on and grabbed lexie by the neck and pulled her in for a passionate kiss.  
As he was kissing her, Mark pulled her toward the bed and laid her down. He looked at her with lust and passion and then there was a burning feeling in his stomach and that was the first time that he was feeling this.  
Clothes were discarded, mouth and hands exploring every part of each other bodies, and climaxes one after the other.  
Still thinking about last night's event, mark wanted to wake her up relive again what had happened between them. But acted against, because even though last night was the best night of his life, it was a mistake, he shouldn't have slept with her. He promised that to Derek. He should have sent her straight home. But no like always Mark acts and after he thinks. He didn't want to lose his friendship with Derek. And besides he's no good for her. He has too much flaws, this woman has to stop doing what she's doing - intriguing me. I should get up without waking her up. He slides away from her and head towards the shower. He was tempted to sneak a peek at her sleeping , but he didn't.  
He decided to take a cold shower because he really needed one.  
When he got out of the shower, she was still sleeping and he thanked God for that. He quickly dressed, put his jacket on and was about to open the door...  
'' Mark where do you think you're going???" asked Lexie


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Mark still had his hand on the doorknob whilst Lexie is expecting an answer from him, his pager went off, Mark takes it and checks it out: it's a 911.

"To the hospital." he replied with a cold voice without even looking at her, and with that he leaves the room.

Lexie doesn't know what to think about what's just happened with Mark. Last night was fantastic, they made love several times and she realized that she likes the plastic surgeon after all. Last night, he touched her like no man has in her life, he made love to her like a real lover, like his life was depending on it. She is still lying in his bed with the sheets covering most of her body, smelling Mark's pillow in which he just slept in. His cologne still on it. She embraces the pillow like Mark was there, and it's like the smell on his pillow could hug her back.  
How one night with this man changes my feelings???  
My goodness that night, that night was nothing like I expected when I came up here. Lexie thought.  
With that Lexie goes up and heads towards the shower to get ready for her idea with the goal to confront Mark about their night together and to know where they'll go from there.

While, Lexie is taking a shower, Mark is driving to the hospital but his mind is still on Lexie and their night together.  
Why is this night bothering me so much and why does this girls is intrigue me?? it was a one night stand that's it. nothing more. no feelings no emotions involved. So why the **** did I want to cuddle her afterwards and I did it dammit. Mark you are playing with fire. Last night we made..... no Mark don't even think about it. You ****ed her that's it. just a good damn one. And Derek told you to not sleep with Lexie and you did. I'm so ****ed up right now. Mark's mind is going crazy.  
When he finally parked his car, he turns off the ignition and decides to let it go and not think about Lexie and their night. Focus on your job man. it was just one night stand and nothing more.

At the E.R, Mark is confronted by a woman, who's been beat up almost to death and burned after being raped, she needs a jaw reconstruction and skin graft. and on top of that she has some broken bones.

"Mrs Rimes. Mrs Rimes my name is Dr Sloan I'm the head of plastics and I'll be the one treating your wounds. I need to know if you understand me. I don't want to try to speak or move because the extent of your injuries are extremely important and I'm not gonna lie to you. so when I'll ask something you'll blink once for yes and twice for no. do you understand ??" he asks nicely to his patient

And she blinked once.  
"all right , that's good so you'll be up for some exams, MRI, CT scans....I'll do them personally don't worry I'm the best at what I do. I'll be with Dr Shepherd who's the head of neurosurgery and Dr Torres who is the best orthopaedist" he tried to reassured the woman as she blinked again once.

As he is still talking to his patient, Dr Bailey stops by to ask him whether or not he would mind if she was on his services again like yesterday. Before answering her, he hesitated. Because even though that woman is one of the few woman who he respects and respects him in return, she asks too many question. my goodness. But she wants to learn, she wants to be taught.  
Ohhh no not again the teach me. That word doesn't have the same aspect for me anymore. Dr Bailey wants to be taught but I don't think she would want the same kind of teaching I gave Lexie last night. Mark thought.  
Mark shakes his head to clear his thoughts and replies with a smirk  
" of course Dr Bailey. i didn't know you like plastics that much, second day in a row. I knew it, you love me"

"Ok you really want to kick your ass. I'm not scared that you're my boss" she replies back

"Well Mrs Rimes this Dr Bailey. she's a general surgeon. she'll be there too. Don't worry I know that it might take a while but everything is gonna be all right" he says.

He doesn't know why, he's trying to reassure this woman, to make her feel better to give her a little hope. Even though all her hopes had gone the minute she's been raped, burned and beaten. She seems like a nice woman.

As Mark was doing the exams to their patient with Bailey, Lexie went to the locker's room to get ready for work.  
Once she put her scrubs on, George came in and asked

"Lex where the hell have you been?? I was up all night waiting for you. I was worried."

"Well now I'm here alive as you can see. no need to worry about me"

"I think I have the right to know where you were last night. you are my best friend and...."

"Ohhh please George I'm not your best friend I'm a filler for Izzie Stevens that's it. and no you have no right to know where I was last night. that's my life not yours" and with that she left with furry and went to find her resident.

Well Lexie spent a good hour looking for her resident and decided that maybe she should find something to do today even though she's banned from the OR. But the thing is Lexie isn't really focused today. Her mind is always on the top plastic surgeon. I need to talk to him, I need to know what's going to happen next.  
As she was in the E.R she heard Mark, Callie and Miranda talking about massive bruise and internal injuries from their patient but she also heard jaw reconstruction.

" did I just hear jaw reconstruction, internal injuries, broken bones.. I'm sorry my resident abandoned me and I'd like to be on your services today if you don't mind" She asked

As soon as Lexie asked her question, Mark didn't know what to do. Say yes and be with her without being with her the whole day would be torture but he can't say no either because she's an intern. While Mark's mind is going crazy again because of Lexie, Callie and Miranda are explaining to Lexie what happened to the patient and what her injuries are.

"Fine, you'll be on my services today. But you won't touch anything. did you hear me??? you are not allowed to touch anything that doesn't need to be touched got it" Mark said to Lexie with a little ramble in it.

"OOOOkay Dr Sloan"

as she leaves, Callie and Miranda are staring at Mark

"WHAT????!!!!!?????"

"You slept with her didn't you?????" both women asked at the same time

"of course not I wouldn't dare" he only whispered

"Ohh really ????"they said with a glare

"Ok only once"

"ohh no not you too. I thought that with what happened with those nurses you wouldn't, but it seems like I was wrong" Bailey said

" ok stop right there she's the one who violated me with her nakedness. she seduced me. not the other way around Mam"

Callie was starting to giggle when Sadie came by asks some things for the patient while taking something off Callie's hair. Callie was rambling something and didn't know how to be but only shocked by Sadie.

"Callie again. first Hahn and now Sadie. and a intern" bailey said

"But Miranda...."

"no buts necessary. I'm surrounded by a bunch of dirty naughty doctors who thinks more about their bedroom than operating room. my goodness." Bailey replied and left.

"So Callie you were saying something like you are so screwed " Mark smirked

"all right shut up. but didn't you see that??? I mean my hair, my damn hair" Callie exclaimed.

"these interns are out of control"

"stalkers"

"sexed up stalkers"

as they were saying that, Mark and Callie were looking at Sadie and Lexie.

After all the exam being done, and prepped the patient for the surgery. it was time for the surgery. Lexie and Sadie were still banned from the OR but they got the chance to learn from their teachers. They were looking at the surgery. Dr Bailey just finished operating on Mrs Rimes when Callie started to readjust the broken bones. As Mark was doing the skin graft, he looked up to the gallery and saw Lexie. She was looking straight at him, like she could read his soul. He seemed like he's was losing control and he didn'tlike that. He's always in charge, but with only her eyes, she's piercing his soul and he hates.  
Since this morning, they never got the chance to talk about what happened last night and he was glad for that.  
Up in the gallery, Sadie had to leave Lexie for charts, and Lexie was all alone. His hands are amazing. he's not only skilled in the bedroom but in the O.R as well.  
Their eyes were still locked to one other, like they were the only in the world. But Mark returns his eyes on his patient's skin.

The surgery being done, Mark was changing from his scrubs to his former casual clothes. As he was getting out of the hospital, it starts raining. Mark doesn't care about the rain as long as he gets in his car. But while he's walking towards his car, he heard someone calling his name. He recognized the voice. that's the beautiful voice of Lexie Grey.

"Dr Sloan, Dr Sloan, I know that you hear me so turn around" Lexie snapped

Mark isn't paying any attention to Lexie, he keeps walking and walking, until he heard her saying

"Mark I'm begging you turn around and face me" she pleads

Mark stoped his walk and the way her voice sounded striked his heart. it was like he was hurting her. But he turned around and faced her for the first time since last night

"What?? Grey, what do you want from me??"

"Why you're acting like nothing happened between us ???"

"Grey it was only a one night stand. we ****ed each other that's it"

"you're lying"

"ohh now I'm lying"

"yes you are. we didn't **** each other last night"

"well if you prefer we screwed each other. Grey you read too much into it"

"did I????"

" Grey stop fooling yourself. that was one night. you were looking for an itch and you happened to come to the legendary manwhore to scratch it. and you were also a good lay so I think we are even right. just forget about that night and everything will be all right"

"how could you say that. I didn't come to you for an itch. i came to you because ...."

" Because what Grey?? ohh right O'Malley you wanted to forget about your little boy toy for one night??"

"Because I realized that I like you. that's why I came. and about forgetting our night together I can't"

"yes you can .it was just one night and stop saying that you like me. because we both know that's not true"

"you know I have a photographic memory. so that means that I can't forget things. it's stuck in my mind. your touch, the way you looked at me last night, kissed me , made love to me is not only stuck in my mind but in my heart too. you scarred my heart last night and I can't forget that. So don't ask me to forget something that is unforgettable"

it was raining more and more now. they were both soaking wet and stared at each other. Mark didn't know what to say. He's speechless. She's right he made love to her last night and he wants to do it over and over again. But he's no good for her. in the end he will hurt her and doesn't want to do that.  
Lexie noticed the change in Mark's stare so she decides to walk towards him and put her hand on his cheek.

"I know you're feeling what I'm feeling right now. just please don't walk away from me, don't walk away from it".

Mark looked at her in the eyes and saw something that he didn't think was possible :faith. she had faith in him. Feeling her hand on his cheek was like a new touch even for him, even tough they touched each other last night. But that touch was a pleading one. But Mark let go of her hand started to walk at the opposite side.  
as he was walking away, he could hear Lexie's voice pleading him to stay and to not walk away. But he kept walking without turning around, he knew that if he does he would run up to her and take her in his arms. That was the first time that Mark was feeling his heart hurting him with sadness and sorrow.  
As he kept walking to his car, Lexie was still looking at him but stopped calling for him.  
She would have never thought that night could have brought her so much happiness and sadness In over 24 hours, Lexie experienced, what it's like to be with a lover and what its like to be left over. and she doesn't think that she could get over it.

_**PLEASE REVIEW I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF IT**_**,****_ IT HELPS ME TO WRITE MORE :-)_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you guys for taking the time to read and review, it means a lot to me and it helps to write more knowing that you are enjoying the story**

**Chapter 3**

The rain was still pouring down as Mark drove to the Archfield, the further he's driving away from Lexie, the further his mind was still on what she had said to him._ I didn't come to you for an itch, I came to you because I realized that I like you.... you scarred my heart last night with your touch, your kisses.... you made love to me last night...._

She's right, I made love to her last night, I didn't fuck her like I used to with other women. I knew that it would be only the one night. But why when the woman that I have been longing for, for weeks now, just told me that she wants me and I walked away from her???

Dammit. He thought, hitting the wheel at the same time. Parking his car and turning off the ignition, Mark's mind went to Lexie again. He can't get her out of his mind. Mark stop thinking about her she's off limits, besides Derek simply asked me to not sleep with her because he knew that sooner or later that I would hurt her in the end. And that's what I did, I hurt her. Once again Derek was right, I left her soaking wet in the rain.  
Mark stepped out of his car and heads towards his hotel entrance.

While Mark was going to take the elevator, the same time Lexie was still in the rain. Her mind was still on what just happened between Mark and herself. He left me just like that in the rain. Maybe I did read too much into it, maybe he's right, I saw more that I should have. But I can't help myself, my body aches from that man, from his touch, his kisses, but also from the after glow. We've talked , for hours for god's sake, he cuddled me, he really wants me to believe that it's a one night stand. I can't, I won't give up, I won't give this little happiness that I've had with him up. no not without a fight. And with that Lexie decided to go to the Archfield and talk to Mark one more time.

Mark was already in his room, his leather jacket off and a single malt scotch in his hands, sat on his couch and still wondering about what happened in the elevator.

_While he was in the elevator a beautiful blond woman engaged the conversation  
"Hi there"_

Mark was so much in his thoughts that he didn't notice her presence  
"mm Good evening"

" my name is Elizabeth, I'm on the 10th floor and you are ???"

"I am on top" way to go Mark, think before you talk. now the woman is gonna think that you want something more with her.

"well I'd like if you were on top of me"

" Well I don't think that's a good idea you're beautiful and everything but..  
_  
" you are already taken???"_

"Not really"

"well what's stopping you from doing this baby??"

"let's just say that I don't want too and I am not in the mood. have a good night" and He stepped out of the elevator, even though it's wasn't his floor and decided to ride an elevator alone because he needed some time alone

I blew a beautiful woman off. She basically invited me to her room. But I turned her down why??? Usually I would say yes to a woman throwing themselves at me, but this time I said no. I Gotta admit the woman was attractive, curvy body, long hair , blue eyes but she wasn't Lexie. She didn't have her silky hair, her deep brown eyes, her porcelain skin and of course her lips which I find so kissable .Dammit I am more into Lexie Grey than I thought I was. But I have to let her go for her own sake.

As Mark was standing to get a refill, he heard a knock at his door.  
When he opened the door he didn't expect to find Lexie there. Like last night, Lexie got past him and entered his room without his invitation.  
She turned around and faced him.

"Lexie what are you doing here?? we've already talked about this. you should go home "

Even soaking wet, she's still was beautiful. Mark thought

"You left me in the rain, you walked away from me even though I screamed, I cried out your name. you didn't even turn around . you kept walking. But even with what you put me through tonight I'm still here. I'm standing here with my heart in my hands. I know you want me and I want you. so don't tell that last night was a mistake, don't tell me that it was just a good fuck because we both know that it wasn't." Lexie spoke

Mark was still speechless, he didn't know what to say or to do.

"I am asking you to let me in here, to stop running away every time you care about someone. Don't shut me out Mark."  
as she was saying this, she walked up to him and caressed his cheeks and looked straight in his eyes.

Mark was savouring her touch, looking at her too. Mark why you are still fighting, she's here and that's all you've been asking for.

Seeing that Mark wasn't saying anything she stepped out and said  
"Well you haven't said anything since I got here. Maybe it was a bad idea, I shouldn't have came here. Maybe it was a mistake. you know I should get going and leave this, what happened between us behind"

As she was at the door, ready to turn the doorknob, Mark came up behind her, put his hand on hers and whispered " Please, don't go".

**Please review :-)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for your reviews and and the stories alerts it means a lot to me, you are the best,**

**Chapter 4**

Mark was nuzzling Lexie's hair and kept whispering "Please don't go, I'm begging you don't go"  
Her hand still on the doorknob, Lexie leaned on Mark and replied" I don't want to go, but you are the one who's always walking away. Every time your close to given in, you shut me out."

Mark turned her around so in that way he could face her. When they were face-to-face, Mark took the time to look at her, really look at her. She's so beautiful inside and out, generous too.  
He stroked her face delicately and took his time to learn all her features again. But what appealed Mark the most was her eyes. Her beautiful deep brown eyes which can express many many things.  
Now they're expressing, admiration, respect and above all faith, She has faith in him, the way she's looking at me now, no women has ever looked at me the same way she does, Mark thought.

Realizing that she's shivering and trembling from the rain, her clothes soaking wet  
Mark says  
" You should get out of these clothes and take a shower or you'll get pneumonia or the flu"

"and you don't want that"

"and I don't want that" he replied while giving her a small smile.

Heading towards the bathroom, Mark leads Lexie on and kept her hand in his.  
After closing the door, Mark stepped in the shower and turned the water on while Lexie watched him. Being done he turned to her and they looked at each other. neither of them wanting to leave. Mark didn't want to leave her and Lexie didn't want him to leave her either. Without any words being needed said, Mark approached her and starts taking her clothes off with tender, taking them of one by one.  
Taking her coat and top off, Mark started to unzip her pants and she stepped out of them. Now standing half naked with just a bra and panties on. As he was caressing her, she started to undress him too, taking her time. Both of them being in their under wear, Mark stepped first in the shower, thinking that she would join him right away, Mark turned and realized that she was still outside. So he held his hand out for her . Lexie looked at him, and thought, this is not only an invitation to take a shower together, But it's Mark' way of telling me that he's willing to open a door for me, for us , and that's a step, I think a huge step coming from him.  
She smiled at him and took his hand and enter the shower with him. As soon as they were in and the water hit them and started flowing all over their bodies, Mark took her face in his hands and starts to showering her with tender kisses and as the same time massaging her hair while Lexie closed her eyes.

Mark has kissed every part of her face except her lips, While tracing the contour of her lips with his thumbs he said

" I'm far from perfect , I know that I may screw up in the end, but I'm asking you to hang on to me, don't give up on me."

Before he could say more, Lexie put her finger to his lips and spoke

"one day at a time, one step at the time, I won't give up you because I know that you're more than worth it"

She looked at him and brought his lips to hers in a slow and passionate kiss in which Mark reciprocated right away. He took of their underwear and now there was flesh against flesh. Being under the water, Mark embraced her, hugged her in his strong arms.  
The water still hitting was not only washing their bodies but it was washing away all the emotions in their day, it was an emotional day for both of them and they stayed liked that until the water turned cold.

Mar stepped out of the shower took some towels to dry off with. He put one around his waist and invited Lexie out of the shower. When she came out she was going to take the white towel but Mark didn't want to give in and wanted to dry her of himself instead. He took all his time to do so.

After a few minutes, both of them were both dried. They headed out of the bathroom to join the bed. But Lexie stopped and let the towel fall on the ground and said to Mark

" I don't want any shirt to sleep in tonight I want us to sleep like this, because I want to feel you again"

Without saying words, Mark kissed her one more time, let his towel find the ground too, took her hand and joined the bed.  
Her head on his bare muscular chest and his strong arms around her, they fell off to sleep together wishing that tomorrow will be an all new and better day.

**Please review :-)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank guys, I'm glad that you are enjoying this story**,** I'm not really sure about this chapter, I hope you'll like it, **

CHAPTER 5

Still snuggled up against each other, Mark and Lexie were still asleep. Her head on his chest, hair lying all over it, Lexie was starting to stir a little bit. She raised up her head and noticed that Mark was still asleep.

He looks so peaceful and adorable with his messy thought. I could just stay there and watch him sleep. Last night was amazing even though we didn't made love, we reconnected in a way that i would never thought was possible. It's crazy Ii don't know anything about this man but I'm certain that i want to spend the futures night with him.

The Mark Sloan in the hospital and outside of the hospital are so much different. In the hospital, he's the world class plastic surgeon an ENT specialist. He can be so a jerk and arrogant but outside he's so different. there's this side of him that I'm sure nobody knows about or he doesn't let many people see that side of him. Last night when he told me that he's far from perfect and that he knows that one way or the other he will screw up, there was something in his eyes. I can't even describe it. His piecing blue-grey eyes were jut pleading me to hold on to him.

The features of his face show that he's been through rough times in his life.

Her thoughts were cut off by Mark saying

"Grey i can hear you thinking"

"ohh really ??? so what was i thinking about then???"

"well, me obviously" he replied with a smirk on his face.

Slowly he opened his eyed and he was welcomed by her deep brown eyes which never cease to amaze him.

"Good Morning "

"Good Morning Mark "

I love the way my given name just sounds from her lips, the way she said it gives me shivers. He hair down , lying on my chest and tingling me a little bit, her porcelain skin soft and glowing from the sun, she's a true beauty inside and out. I don't know why but if i have to wake up to such a beauty like this i might say bring it on. He smiled at her and asked

"Were you watching me sleep?"

"yes I was" she replied, blushing at the same time.

"why"

"Because I wanted to"

"Ok but why???"

"because I like watching you 's all"

Mark pondered on this. She likes taking the time to watch me sleep. Usually women don't have time to do that and he can't recall a time when Addison took the time to watch me sleep.  
Addison the only one who i loved and screwed me over.  
Well maybe i should admit to Lexie that i like watching her sleep too. Mark thought. But he didn't want to say it out loud because he thinks that he would be less of a man.  
No those kind of information, i gotta keep them to myself.

"Well just for you know, yesterday i could feel you watching me sleep" she said with a little smile on her lips.

_so much for keeping this as your little secret Man. SHIT._ Mark thought

"how do you know?"

"well even when I'm asleep, i can feel when someone is watching me that's all. and let's just say that your eyes were definitely on me yesterday"

" cocky, aren't we??"

" are you gonna say that I'm lying" she asked raising her eyebrows at the same time

oh my... the raising eyebrows. ok Man tell her the truth. so what you've been watching her in her sleep. But that sounds kinda creepy, doesn't it???? Mark thought

" No I'm not gonna lie to you." he replied with sincerity in his voice

"Good"

"that's a good thing that I'm watching sleep or that I'm not gonna lie to you???"

"Both" she replied without hesitation

"so watching you sleep isn't creepy, right???"

"well no, i do the same thing means that we like to admire that person, take our time to watch her in her most vulnerable place, and to allow ourselves to be in the same peace that she's"

Mark just looked at her and and took her face into his hands and brought his lips to hers and engaged her to a delicate and slow kiss who turned to a passionate were roaming all over each others bodies. Mark turned Lexie over so he could be on top of her. He started kissing her cheeks then her neck and went up to her earlobe more precisely behind it, he knows that it's her weak spot.

Meanwhile Lexie was moaning Mark's name her eyes closed, enjoying his mouth doing his magic.

Mark continued his path to between her breasts and started to suck one of the nipples while massaging the other.  
Lexie was in total heaven the thing that this man can do with his mouth and hands are just incredible.

She tastes good, she feels good , and she's exquisite. i lover her scent and taste, it's a mix with coconut and vanilla and dammit i want and need more of her. Mark thought.

As Mark was continuing his journey down her toned stomach by showering with kisses, his cellphone starts ringing.  
Mark tried to ignore it but when he noticed that whoever is calling is very persistent he decided to pick it up.

"I'm sorry Lex, I'll be right back'' he said to her annoyed.

well he wasn't the only one annoyed because she was pretty much enjoying what he was doing to her.  
Mark picked up the phone and that was Derek on the other line.

"Hey man, what's took you so long ??? ohhh you have company "

" no man I'm alone right now, i was in the shower so what's up??"

Lexie didn't understand why Mark was lying to Derek. he's not alone. I'm with him now. what the hell is going on????

" Nothing much man, i just wanted to know if you wanna get a drink at joes tonight you know it's been a long time man"

" yeah of course no problem. I'll see ya later man''

"yeah "

Mark hanged up and went back to Lexie. He started to kiss her again, but the problem is that she wasn't responding to any of his kisses.

"what's going on????''

''you tell me"

" ok what are you talking about???''

" well you just told Derek that you were alone and flat out lied to didn't you tell him that i was there with you???"

" Lexie is complicated"

"Well enlighten me"

"No one can know about what we have or what we're doing with each other. it's best if no one can know about it"

And at this Lexie is speechless and doesn't know what to say or to respond

**I don't take your reviews for granted, it helps me to write more, so please review :-)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you guys for reviewing, Your reviews always make me smile, I hope you'll like this chapter,**

**Chapter 6**

Lexie was still in shock, she didn't understand why he wanted to hide them.

I mean a few hours ago, we were happy, we were joking, we were about to made love again. He made me believe that he wanted something with me something real and now he's asking ....no telling me that we have to hide, that we can't go public. No maybe he's joking or maybe it's just a little time because he needs some.

" What did you just say???? no one can know what about???"

"I mean that no one will know about us. that's it''

"That's it??? You've got to be kidding me. Why you want to hide us? Are you so ashamed of me that you can't bear the fact that people will know about us???" She asked, still on the bed with the sheets covering her

_How can she think that i could be ashamed of her?? I'm the one who is ashamed. I don't deserve her and yet she still wants me. After everything I've done in the past, how can i deserve someone like her in my life????_

"Lexie I'm not ashamed of you. It's because...." Before even finish his sentence, Lexie cut him off

"Then what it is??? Please enlighten me." She demanded.

Mark didn't know what to respond. Because He really wanted to tell her that He made a promise to Derek to not get anywhere near her , but he couldn't bring himself to tell her so. Maybe it's fear, or didn't know which one was it.

Seeing that Mark wasn't saying anything, Lexie decided that enough was enough. And then, she got out of the bed and started looking for her clothes.

"What are you doing?" Mark asked and didn't quite understand what she was doing.

"Don't you see, I'm looking for my clothes and then I'm getting out of here" she snapped at him while being in the bathroom putting her underwears on.

"Don't do that. Your clothes are still wet from last night because of the rain"

" ohhh and thanks to whom???" Lexie wished she bite her tongue before saying this especially when she noticed the hurt in Mark's eyes. But the words were already out.

"Lexie , I .AM .NOT. ASHAMED. OF. YOU "Saying this by accentuated each words

"You've already told me that. But you know, your actions speak louder than your words" She replied back

Mark didn't want her to think that he didn't want her. He's new at this. He doesn't know how to act; what to do, what to say. So he came up to her, and took her in his arms even though she was fighting him in the end, she gave up.

"You have to stop doing that to do. Being all hot and cold. The night before you made love to me, the day after you ignored me like you didn't even know me, you left me standing in the rain even though i begged you not to walk away. Last night you've asked not to leave you, you held out your hand to me in the shower. I know that it was a huge step coming from you but you gotta stop this. One day you want it and then after you don't. I'm not made of steel Mark, I have feelings too."

she said with some tears starting to flow down her cheeks.

Lexie started to wipe her cheeks but Mark was more faster and then hold her face in his hands and told her

"Please, Lexie I want you and I'm sorry if I lead you one but that wasn't my intention. But I'd rather i have you in my life secretly than ever" Mark hoped that she could see the sincerity in his voice and eyes.

"Well that doesn't work for me. I won't hide or sneak around. No I'm not a teenager anymore. I won't to do it. And you still didn't tell me why you wanted to hide???"

"Dammit Lexie why you need to know this?? why???"

" So you expect me to get all 'yeah Mark I'd love to do i. Hide us' No that's not know what I think I'm wasting my time. I should go'' she said while putting her still wet clothes on.

_She can be so stubborn. Dammit. I gotta tell her the truth or she'll leave_

"I made a promise to Derek that' I'll never get anywhere near you but as you can see I slipped. That's why." Mark spoke out

Lexie didn't believe her ears. He made a promise to Derek. _What the hell Derek go to do with Mark and I???_

"So you're saying that you made a promise to Derek to not date me or do anything to me"

"That's what I'm saying"

"I don't understand why Derek would intervene in my personnel life. I don't get it." Lexie replied. She stopped dressing up because she really wanted to hear what Mark had to say.

"It's Because of Meredith. She knows my history and she doesn't want you to get hurt because of me"

"What????!!!!"

"You're telling me that Meredith got the nerves to ask Derek to give you an order to not get anywhere near. You've got to be kidding me. Who the hell does she think she is??? One day she doesn't want to be my sister and now she's acting like the overprotective one. Dammit " Lexie exclaimed. She was really mad. She couldn't believe that Meredith could have done something like that.

"Lexie she just wants to be close to you even though she's not showing it. And she's right, I might.. no I'll hurt you in the end."

" You know that's exactly what I hate. You think so low of your self for a successful surgeon. And I'm sure you're saying that you'll hurt me because that's what Derek told you. That you're so bad for me. That in the end, you're gonna break my heart or even worse that you will cheat on me.I'm sure it was something like that." Lexie said while coming up to him and putting her hands on his bare muscular chest.

"Lexie they're right. I'm no good for you....."

"Dammit Mark but stop saying that. Screw them. Screw what they think. You deserve more than that. He's supposed to be your best friend and that's how he thinks so low and little of you. That's also how he thinks that you're gonna treat me. He's wrong I know that he's wrong. You have to give yourself more credit here"

"Lexie you don't know everything about me. I've done some pretty bad things in my life" he whispered

"But you're not a bad person. That's why I want to get to know you . I wanna know more about the guy behind these walls that he put up for so long." Lexie said, with her hands going from his chest to his face.

"You're way too good for me"

"You're perfect for me"

When he heard the words coming out of her mouth, he tried to find some lies in eyes that maybe she said it to make himself feel better, but the only thing he found in them was honesty.

"So what do we do???"

"About what?"

"About going public ?"

"Well I understand that you don't want to lose Derek's friendship, but I also know that he has to have more faith in you. He 's supposed to be your best friend. But you know what we'll do it one step at a time like i told you. But I don't want to sneak around. We'll see our things will unfold for us."

"You know I'm new at this. At the thing we have with each other, at the hospital, I'm all confident but outside i don't know i just..."

"Shhhh, stop thinking about this so hard. Just let it flow and everything is gonna be all right"

"Just let it flow???" Mark questioned trying not to be too much insecure.

"Yeah Let it flow" She replied and pulling him in for a long and sultry kiss.

**Well you know whay you gotta do, Hit the little McButton:-)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for all your reviews, you are the best, i am really sorry for the lack of update, i'll try to update more often, i'm really nervous about this chapter, hope you'll like it,**

**Chapter 7**

It's been a few weeks since Mark has "let it flow" as Lexie put it, and he couldn't deny the fact that he never been this happier in his life.

For the first time, someone wanted him , not using him for sex but wanted to get to know him outside of the bedroom field.

And that's scares him because he doesn't want to screw this up, to fail her but more importantly he was afraid that one day she'll get up and decide that he's not worth it anymore. Thankfully, Lexie was always there to reassure him and telling him that she's not going anywhere.

They talk, laugh, joke around, and sleep but actually sleep. He found himself being more content just by holding her in his arms at night. He sleeps even better now, when she's on call at the hospital, he doesn't even know how to get through the night though she doesn't know about it.

He took a good look at her sleeping on his chest nicely and could never get bored at doing this: watching her sleep. All her silky hair on his chest, her breathing was slow, and her skin was glowing from the sun coming from the window.

_She's so beautiful_

Nonetheless, what pained him the most is that he couldn't share his new happiness with Derek. He hated because Derek is his best friend and he wanted him to be part of what it's happening to him now but he couldn't because he broke his promise to Derek and he's afraid by telling him the truth that he'll lose his friendship with him. But by not telling him, he can't also lose Lexie because even though she doesn't say the sneaking around is bothering her.

He knows that sooner or later what they have with each other will have to come out but h's too afraid to so.

Besides he doesn't even know how to call what they have.

Is it a fling , a thing , a relationship? All he's aware of is that he's a virgin relationship. He's new at this, so as long as Lexie is on board with him, he knows that he can do anything.

He also noticed that during those few weeks, he's been opening up more to her, about his family The Shepherd, his school times but everytime she tries to get him to talk about his childhood, his mother and father , he always shut her out.

He knows that he's being hard on her and that's breaking her heart. But he couldn't talk about his childhood. It was too painful to think or even talk about it. All the memories that he's been trying to block, to forget are coming back to him little by little and he doesn't like it.

Especially today. Each year, at this day, it's still hard for him. He knew that, he would be different and Lexie would feel it, but he wanted to spend the day alone, by himself. No talking to anybody purposely took the day off because he kwe that he couldn't be able to concentrate.

So by taking a last look on Lexie, he decided to hop in the shower and get ready to go.

In the meantime, Lexie started to wake up, and noticed that Mark was no longer beside her but in the shower having as always his steamy shower. Being too lazy to get up, she decided to wait in bed for him. A few minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom already dressed and quite surprised to find Lexie awake.

"Good Morning, Did i wake you up???" he asked while putting his watch on his wrist

"Well you can say that, because i don't like to sleep alone"she replied to him back while getting out of bed to come up to him.

"Besides, i got used to your arms drapped around me and your chest against my back or my head on your chest you know. So i'd rather say i can't sleep without you" she added before giving him a proper good morning kiss with her arms wrapped around his neck.

After the kiss, Mark stared at Lexie and couldn't believe how this women could be so open about things like that. Him too, he can't sleep without her but he's too afraid too admitted out loud because admitting makes it real.

He stroked her cheek and kiss her again hoping that she won't notice something different in him.

Lexie could feel that something was bothering him. But she couldn't put her finger on it. She also noticed that everytime she tries to talk about his childhood, his family, he either responds that the Shepherd are his only family or changes the subject. She knows that his childhood is a serious matter and that for him to open up to her about things like that would take some times. But she couldn't deny the fact that it's frustrating her to see that he doesn't want to talk to her.

"Mark are you all right??" she asked while having her hair in his hair.

"Yeah , i'm just a little tired but beside that i'm fine. Why are you asking?"

_It's only been a few weeks, and she already know when i'm not ok. Gosh this woman seems to know me better than i thought and that's freaking me out_

"It's just that you have this look, a sad one. Like i don't know sonething happened to you. You seem down i don't even know how to say or even explain it." she said while tracing his lips with her fingers.

"I'm fine ok. Don't worry about anything. I'm ok"

"All right Mark stop doing that. Tell me what's going on. I'll help you if i can. But please don't shut me out" she pleaded him but in response, he let go of her arms wrapped around his neck and said

"Look Lexie, it's nothing. just let it go all right"

"If it was nothing you would have told me. And no i won't just let it go as you put it" she told him with her arms crossed on her chest.

"well you know what i don't want to talk about it, so i might as well go now all right " He said and head towards the door

"No, you won't go anywhere. Is it what you're always gonna do leave when you don't want to talk??? We are in a relationship Mark. I understand that there's somethings that you don't want to talk but you have to communicate from time to time with me."

He froze at the word relationship. He knew that they were kinda together but relationship , he didn't expect it. And he was glad that

"We are in a relationship???" Mark asked

Lexie was taken aback by this question and answered

"Of course we are. I mean i thought that i was with you in it. That we were together on the boat, but i realized just now that i was wrong. So what, you thought that i was just messing around with you, that i was just using you or what??? After all the time, we've spent together, i mean thought that we were in one" she said with a sad tone.

"Look Lexie you're all wrong. I was just not expecting you saying this. that's all"

"what ?? saying that we are in a relationship??" she asked with her eyesbrows frowned

"Well yeah" he muttered.

"Why" she asked

Before answering, Mark sighed and said'' Because before no woman wanted me besides for sex. Maybe i caused this too, because.... look just forget i said that ok".

"Dammit Mark why you keep doing this??? Everytime you're close to tell me something about your past, you shut me out. Are you afraid that i'll leave you if you tell me something about it . I'm in it for the long road Mark, I'm not going anywhere so please just tell me"

"Lexie, please don't. I can't. I just can't do it" He said while looking at the floor

"You can't or don't want to and please look at me straight in the eyes" she demanded

He did as she said and looked at her. He knew that she was dissapointed that he didn't want to talk to her but he doesn't know why he can't open up to her. He really wants to but he's so afraid of losing her.

He didn't even know how to answer to the question because he knew that it was a little bit of both.

Silence filled the room and neither of them spoke on word until Lexie's pager went off. She took it out from her purse and checked it: 9-1-1.

"It's an 911, i gotta change and go." she said while walking toward the bathroom.

With her hand on the doorknob,she added" Mark i know that you have a lot of issues and you think that i 'll leave the minutes that you'll start telling me about it but i want you to know that we're in this together. I need you to meet me half way here" . And she went to get ready for work.

Mark was pondering over what Lexie just told him. He knew that he has to talk to her or he'll lose her but he can't bring himself to do instead of waiting for her he left the room after leaving a note qaying that "he needed to leave and he'll see her later".

In the meantime, Lexie was getting ready in the bathroom, but what happenedthis morning with Mark bothered her a lot. Because she doesn't know how long she can endure this.

It's hard to be the only one communicating in a relationship, she needs to find a way to make him talk or she could just wait for him to open up to her. But she's afraid that if she waits too long he would never take the first step.

After a few minutes, she came out of the bathroom and started calling for Mark until she noticed a note on the nightstand.

after reading it she sighed and decided to put her thoughts on hold and head to the hospital because she can feel that it's gonna be a long day especially since it's Mark's day off.

A few hours later , Mark ended up sitting on a bench in a park. It was quite and peaceful, all you can see was some birds there, and few people walking but beside that it was calm and quiet and that's all Mark needed.

He started thinking about that day, the day he would always remember. He still can't understand why she did this to him, why she left him?? Did she ever love him???

Those questions were running through Mark's mind.

_Wasn't i good enough for her????_

That particular day has changed his life, but for the better or worse he didn't know.

Mark was so much in his thoughts that he didn't notice a old man calling him.

"Son, do you mind if i sit next to you?" the old man asked him.

Mark didn't really care so he just nodded.

"Thanks son." he said and added "So i've been watching you and i can see that you're not all right"

Mark was surprised at this old man. He didn't know that man at all but he knew already that he wasn't all right.

"You have this sad look in your eyes like you feel lost or something. You're thinking about a woman" the old asked while taking off his hat and putting on his knees.

_How the hell did he know?_

"So young man do you want to talk about it or sit around with that puppy dog face???"

Mark looked at the man was shocked to say the least. But he couldn't deny the fact that he liked him already.

"My name is Mark Sloan, what's yours???" he said while extending his right hand to the man.

"I'm Victor Johnson, nice to meet you" he shook Mark's hand as well

"Likewise"

"So are you gonna start talking son??''

"You really wanna know?"

"Well it's easier to talk to a stranger than talking to people we care the most about"

_What the hell?? i would never see the man so why not talk to him_

"33 years ago, my mother abandonned me in a park. She tricked me by saying we were going to play together there because she knew how much i loved that.

So she let me sit down on a bench just like the we're sitting on, and she told me that she would be right back. I asked her if i could come with her but she automacally said no. So i figured maybe she wanted to surprise me with something and then i said ok and decided to wait for her. I watched her walking and walking away from me without knowing that i would never see her again.

So i've waited for her for hours i even stayed on the bench while the rain started to pour down because i didn't want her think that i left and worry her by looking for me.

Hours and hours later, almost sunset, my nanny came and found on the bench she was quite surprised to say the least but she took me with her even though i told not to do so because i was afraid that when my mum would come back she'll get all worked up and stuff. But she didn't listen to me and made me leave with her.

A few hours later, i was changed and dried at my parents house. I started calling for my mum but i got no response in return. I even looked for her in the house but didn't find her either.

So i decided to wait for her, because i knew that sooner or later she would come back but she never. And now....."

"And now you're afraid of commitement" Victor concluded.

Mark looked at the man and replied " the first woman that i've ever loved in my life abandonned me, so what do you think??"

"What about your father??"

Mark chuckled before and said" i was never enough for my father. When he found out about what happened in the park he said _Thanks son, because of you i got rid of your mother,_ That was the only time that he thanked me."

"Son, you can't live like it's hard to have the kind of childhood you had. From what you've told me you didn't have the best parents, but you can't let them prevent you from finding happiness, finding a woman that you love and...."

When Mark heard finding a woman that you love he thought first about Lexie. He loves being with her and everything.

"Son again you're thinking about a woman, but that's not the same woman."

"Are you psych or something?? Can you read minds because you're really starting to freak me out?"

"That's because it's all in your eyes."

"You're right. I was thinking about a woman. She's young though, beautiful, smart funny "

"So what's the problem?? As long as she's not underaged i don't see any problem"

Mark chuckled and added "She makes me laugh and enjoy life. She makes me.."

"Happy"

"Yeah she does" he nodded.

"So son go for it,"

"But i don't think that i'm good enough for her. I have too much issues on my plate right now. She deserves someone who can make her happy"

"All right stop right there young man. First of all that's not your decision to make, it's hers. And second of all i can see in your eyes that you have feelings for the girl but you're too afraid to admit it. If you really want this girl you gotta start to let her in and talk to her about everything that you've been through in life. Because in order to find happiness in life you have to let go of the past. If you keep pushing her away, one day you'll push her over the edge and she'll leave you son.

You have to trust and believe that she'll be here in the morning with you by your side, but you gotta let her in." the old man told Mark

He started to get up and added "You seem like a good man. Don't forget that everyone make mistakes, nobody's perfect. You have to forgive yourself for what you've done in the past."

He patted Mark's shoulder and left.

Mark pondered about what the conversation he just had with Victor. He knew that he had to one thing. So he took out his cellphone and sent a message to Lexie saying

_When you'll be done at the hospital, please join me in the Park a few blocks away from the Archfield. I need to talk to you it's urgent._

_PS i've missed you today_

_Mark._

_Please review :)_


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: I'm genuilly sorry for the very lack of updates. I know you'll think that I have always an excuse, but my life has been quite hectic and upside down lately. I can't make any promises and say that I'll update more frequently. I can only say that I'll try. I want to thank all the people who read it, reviewed it and put my story or me on alert, it means a lot me. You have no idea.**

**About this chapter, I really do hope that this make up for the time lost. I'm very nervous about because it deals with Mark childhood. So I hope you'll enjoy it.**

Chapter 8

Lexie was doing some charts when she received Mark's message. She took her cell out her waist, checked it out and read the message.  
She was perplexed because this morning Mark didn't want to talk to her and now he wants to meet her at the park.

_Why does he want to meet me? Maybe he wants to talk about what's been bothering him or maybe he wants to end things off with me? No, he wouldn't do it, would he? Lexie stop torturing yourself like that, besides he said he missed you today so that counts for something?_

Lexie shook her head and replied to his message before heading towards the locker room to get change.

Meanwhile, Mark was still sitting on the bench, pondering about the conversation he just had with Victor.  
He still doesn't understand what got into him to talk about his childhood to a complete stranger.

Even Derek doesn't know about it. His mother abandonning him, Mark felt too ashamed to say it. So he decided to lie and say that his mother died of a rare disease. Even though that might not be true but to Mark, she was dead.  
He buried all his feelings for her in the back of his heart, but now he doesn't understand why they're coming back.

He knows he has to open up to Lexie, that he has to believe that in the end she's gonna be there. But it's easier said than done.  
Besides, there's a lot about his past that he has to talk about but he's so afraid that she'll run to the hills when she discover everything about it.

As he was thinking about Lexie, his cell phone beeped and it was Lexie's

_"Hey, i'll be there, just give me a few minutes and i'll meet you there._

_Ps I've missed you too_

_L"_

Just reading the text brought a smile, on Mark's lips. He have to admit that, the smile is for the last part of the message  
"i've missed you too". Just knowing that she has missed him today, was enough to make his heart warm.

She's the only one who has an effect on him. Usually, he doesn't get attached to women especially after what happened with his mother and Addison; but with Lexie it's different.  
She managed to find her through his heart even though he doesn't want to really admit it but he knows it deep down.

Looking around the park, he can't help but to notice that is has a lot of similiraties with the one in New York, where his mother abandoned him.

It's really like he was in New York right now. But what really striked him was a little boy sitting on the bench all alone with his teddy bear in his arms. Even though he was very young, Mark could relate to that boy. Same night, sitting on a bench and probably waiting for his mother with his teddy bear in his hands.

Mark kept looking at the boy and decided to fo talk him.

"Hey little one what are you doing here? Does your mother know you're here" Mark asked to the little boy while sitting

" My mum taught me to never speak to stranger. And you're a stranger so i can't talk to you sir." the little boy responded.

"all right if you want i can stay out here with you, we don't need to talk you know" Mark suggested.

"You don't have to stay here with me, my mum is coming. She told me to stay here a little while and wait for her. She'll be back"

"How do you know she'll be back?"

"because she loves me and she promised" The boy replied with determination in his eyes.

Instead of answering Mark decided to stay quiet and stayed with the boy.

Minutes passed and the mother's boy wasn't there yet and Mark didn't want the child to go through what he's been through in his childhood. It's way to painful for a child.

"And what about your dad?"

"what about him?"

"well does he know that you're here?"

"I don't have a father. It's only me with my mum" the kid responded bluntly

"Well kid, I know the feeling."

"what do you mean that? You don't have a dad?"

That question triggered Mark, because he knows that he has a dad and that he's still alive but his dad spent more time with women and work than him.

"You can say that"

"you, grown ups are way too complicated'

"why is that smart guy?"

"Because i asked you a question, all you needed to was to answer yes or no. But no you always complicate things."

Before answering Mark smiled and then said " you are way too  
smart"

''i know"

"You know?"

"my mother says that i'm very smart." the boy told Mark proudly.

Mark didn't have time to respond because, a woman came towards them and called Daniel

"Daniel sweetie i already told you to not talk to stranger."

"Mummy. I'm so happy to see you." Daniel said with so much happiness in his voice while hugging his mother.

Mark was happy to see boy with his mother, but he couldn't help to feel jealous over that, Because his mother didn't come back to him, she left him in the rain.  
He would have given anything just to have his mother hugging him just the way that woman is embracing her son.  
To have her came back to him, he would have done anything, but she didn't.

Just watching this intimate moment between mother and son saddened Mark's heart.

_She loves her son. You can see that in her eyes. No neeed to say the words. Actions speak louder than words.  
But my mother never loved me. If she did she would have stayed and not left. _

Mark shook his head and then said to the woman" I'm sorry but blame me. I'm the one who came to him. He told me that he doesn;t talk to stranger but i saw him all alone on the bench and i don;t know i just wanted to stay with him until you came back that's all."

"That's ok , I'm Samantha, and i was just over there and doing something for Daniel but it took much longer than i thought. So thank you for staying with him" she said nicely while playing with her son hair.

"I'm Mark sloan and you have a very bright child. It was my pleasure."

"Well thank you again. All right honey we're going home now, it's getting late. Say good Night to Mr Sloan."

"all right mummy. Bye Mr Sloan. "

''Bye Daniel. "

And with that, they left and Mark found himself alone again.

A few minutes later, he checked his watch and started to wonder where was Lexie. Until he heard

"Waiting for me''

Mark turned and saw Lexie standing near him with her hands in her pockets and jacket on.

"You came?" Mark asked with doubt

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?" she replied while sitting next to him.

Mark didn't respond, he just stayed silent. He didn't really know how to answer to her question.

_She came, because she wanted to. Well now what am I gonna do? I'm sure she wondered why I asked her to meet me in the park at this hour. It's definitely not to play in the sand._

Meanwhile, Lexie noticed Mark being ill at ease a little bit and that's why the least of her intention.

Several minutes flied until Mark talked "So how was your day at the hospital?''

"Good, mmm well you know the usual, the pit , writing charts, Dr Yang breathing down my neck, but I'm used to it."

"Yang needs to get laid."

"Maybe but she's still my resident, and well you've been through your residency without problem, so I can do it. Every doctors did, so I can do it too." She said

Lexie didn't dare to ask him about his day because she figured that he will talk to her in time even though she really wants to know. But she knows that Mark is a very complex man and that he doesn't let people in that easily. So she's gonna have to wait.

"By the way I saw you talking to a woman and a little boy before I arrived. Who were they?" Lexie asked.

Mark stayed silent before and pondered about Lexie's question. Who were they? Who were these people?

These people were the representation of a loving mother and her son. A mother who kept her promises and came back to her son like she said to him.

"33 years ago, my mother abandonned me at a park." Mark replied bluntly

Lexie was shocked to say the least, she didn't expect it, but still didn't understand what he meant by all this so instead of interrupting him, she decided to let him talk. Plus she noticed that he was struggling with himself, that it was a battle for him to talk about his childhood, so she took his hands in hers and squeezed it to give him some assurance.

"It was at a park in New York. I was 5 and my mother told me to wait for her and to not come after her, that she'll be back. So of course, I obeyed and waited for her." Mark added meanwhile Lexie was keep squeezing his hands.

"Hours and hours later I was still on the bench and the rain started. I didn't want to move because my mother promised me that she would be back. Then I've waited , I've waited long that I couldn't even feel my clothes on.

Minutes later, my nanny came by accident and wanted me to go with her. But I didn't because I didn't want my mother to not see me on the bench where she told me to wait for her. So she carried me against my will to the car and then brought me home.

At home, i started looking for my mother, I screamed put her name in the all house but I got nothing in response. My nanny got me dried up and then I started the search again. I looked for her in any areas in the house but I didn't find her. "

"But…. But, maybe she got a problem that day, maybe something happened to her that day, you don't know" Lexie said to Mark

"Lexie since that day in the park I've never seen her not even once. If something had happened to her, I'm sure it would havbe been all over the news or something. So please don't try to find excuses" Mark replied back with a cold voice while looking straight in Lexie's eyes.

Mark's eyes always amaze and intimidate Lexie. When they turn from a light blue to a steel blue grey eyes or only grey that amaze her, but when they turn to a cold blue that kind of intimidate her because with only his eyes Mark can express his feelings, and when they are colb blue you can tell that he's mad or angry.

"I'm sorry, she did that to you and I'm trying to defend her, I ---"Lexie tried to say but Mark cut her off before she could continue.

"No don't apologise, I should be the one. I should't respond to you the way I just. That was totally unfair. So I'm sorry" Mark said.

"No that's ok Mark, you don't have to, and you've been through something very traumatic. But mmm what about your dad? Didn't he try to find her or help you get you through this?"Lexie asked.

Mark giggled before answering. "The only thing my dad said to me was: Thank son, because you I got rid of your mother.

That was the only time he thanked me."

"Mark I'm so sorry. But did you have somebody to help you with all this?"

"My nanny and Ms Shepherd. They basically raised me. I'm really grateful for them."

"Well think in a positive way, you had two mothers to raise you."

"Yeah but I wanted my mother to raise me, not another person, I really wanted mine. I don't know if you can understand, but the fact that my mother left me just means that I was worthless, useless and that she didn't love me."

"Mark don't say that, you were not worthless or meaningless or anything in any way and you're still not and you'll never be" Lexie said with determination.

"Pfff anyway, my father told me that so many times that I believe it's true. She left because I wasn't enough for her; she left because I was worthless. Besides my father is right. I fail all the time. One day I'll fail you. I don't have the ability to love because if I do, my mother wouldn't have left me. If I had shown, proved her that I loved her she would have stayed. "

Lexie couldn't believe her ears. How a man as successful as Mark Sloan could think so low of himself.

"Mark, listen to me ok and look at me all right" Lexie told him strongly.

Mark didn't look at her and kept looking at the ground. So Lexie made him look at her by turning his head towards her.

"Listen to me Mark for once and for all. I can't tell you that I know what you've been through because it would be a lie, but I can tell that what your mother did to you wasn't your fault. She did what she did because she wanted to. It's her loss. Don't ever say that you're worthless or useless because that is a big lie.

I don't know how many times I'm going tell you this but you're more than worth it Mark. You are worth. And I'll tell you that every single day if you need me to.

And about your dad, he's a jerk. You know what I have a few questions for you?"

Mark remained silent and only nodded so she could continue.

"Have you ever lied to me, used me, and treated me like crap or garbage?" Lexie asked

"No never" Mark responded very surprised.

"Would you?"

"No of course not" He said with his eyebrows frowned.

"So what makes you think you could fail me?"

Mark remained quiet. He really didn't expect that kind of question, because of course he didn't have any answer for that but he decided to go with that.

"Because I have a self destructive pathology, I might not be normal"

"Mark tell me what is normal? Normal is way overrated. Let me tell you something. I don't even care what your ass of father says because when I look at you I do not see damaged of any kind. I see a beautiful man who's been through hell and who's trying get on with his life even though his own father didn't believe in him and mother abandoned him.

I know that we haven't been together that long and that neither of us is ready to say the big three words but your actions speak louder than your words.

I experienced your capacity of love every single day of my life, I saw it in your eyes and felt it in your touch.

So don't you dare talk to me about your father who doesn't know anything about you and keeps saying that you are incapable of loving because I know better." Lexie told me while taking his head in her hands and stroking his cheeks.

"So you're staying, you're not running away?" Mark asked

"Running away to go where? Mark. Your past doesn't scare me away. Nobody defines who you are, not your father not your mother and not your past. Only you can define yourself.

I don't know how many times you need me to say this to you" while saying that she smiled "I'm in this for the long road I'm not going anywhere."

"But what about my past you know all the woman that I have in my life what----?"

"Mark I already told you that your past doesn't define who you are. Nothing will change between us. We all make mistakes, nobody's perfect. You have to let of the past, to move on and finally find happiness, because Mark I know you don't believe it but you deserve to be happy." She said to him then took his hands in hers.

Mark looked at their hands entwined and then added "But I don't know how to let go of that night, the night my mother abandoned me."

"It'll take time; it won't go overnight you know." She replied.

"Lexie it's been 33 years, I think it was more than enough."

"It has been a long time, but you know now you have me. I'm here for you anytime. During these years, you didn't have anybody to talk to, to really help you through this hard time. You stuffed up everything in instead of talking, but now you found, I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere.

I also know that your mother is the first woman that you ever loved and that she betrayed you, so that's why you don't trust women that easily. But I want you to know that I might screw up, but I'll never let you down."

After hearing those words, the only thing that Mark could think of was kissing Lexie. But not those passionate kisses they usual have, No, that one was more like a tender slow kiss in motion. Both of them could felt what each other couldn't convey in words.

During the kiss, the rain started to pour down, so they stopped kissing due also to lack of oxygen and then Mark looked at the sky. It was exactly like the night in New York but the difference is that now he's not alone in this fight.

For the first time, Nark felt like he was finally letting go of that night. He knows that it's not going to be easy but as long as Lexie is beside him, he can do anything.

He took her hands and then said "Let's go it's getting late."

Lexie only nodded and then they walked together, heading to a new future and hopefully a better one.

**Please review. I really want to know what you think of this story.**


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